


Fruitcake

by rubia_ryu



Category: Bishiki's Balloon Bois (Discord), Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss, The Sims (Video Games), 龍が如く | Ryuu ga Gotoku | Yakuza (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Thanks Dr. Seuss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17128421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubia_ryu/pseuds/rubia_ryu
Summary: Kiryu doesn't like Daigo's fruitcake.





	Fruitcake

I am Kiryu.

 

I am Daigo.

“Daigo-san”, they say.

 

“Daigo-san”, they say.

“Daigosan”, I say.

I do not like that Daigosan.

I do not like that cocky man.

 

Do you want to try my fruitcake?

 

No, Daigo, I do not.

I do not want what you make.

 

Do you want it here or there?

 

I don’t want it here or there.

I don’t want it anywhere.

I do not like your fruitcake, Daigosan.

I do not like what’s going on.

 

Would you like it at my house?

Would you like it with my spouse?

 

I do not want it in your house.

She doesn’t want it either, your spouse.

I don’t want it here or there.

I don’t want it anywhere.

I do not like your fruitcake, Daigosan.

I do not like what’s going on.

 

Would you eat it in a box?

Would you eat it for some knitted socks?

 

Not in a box. Not for your socks.

Not in your house. Not with your spouse.

I would not eat them here or there.

I would not eat them anywhere.

I would not eat your fruitcake, Daigosan.

I do not like what’s going on.

 

Would you? Could you? In a car?

Eat some! Eat some! Here they are!

 

I would not, could not, in a car!

 

*screech*

*whomp*

 

And get out of my car!

 

Kiryu-san, please.

You may like it. You will see.

You may like it in a tree?

 

I would not, could not, in a tree!

Not in a car! You let me be.

I do not like them in a box.

I do not like them or your socks.

I do not like them in your house.

I do not like them, nor does your spouse.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

I do not like your fruitcake, Daigosan.

And I do not like what’s going on!

 

A train! A train! To Sotenbori!

Could you, would you, on a train?

 

Not on a train! Not in a tree!

Not in a car! Go find Ryuji!

I would not, could not, in a box.

I would not, could not, for your socks.

I will not eat it at your house.

I will not eat it with your spouse.

I will not eat it here or there.

I will not eat it anywhere.

I do not like your fruitcake, Daigosan…

 

Say! In the dark? Here in the dark!

Would you, could you, in the dark!

 

I would not, could not, in the dark.

 

Would you, could you, in the rain?

 

I hope Ryuji kicks you again.

Not in the dark, not on a train.

Not in a car, not in a tree.

I do not like it, please let me be.

Not at your house. Not in a box.

Not with your spouse. Not for your socks.

I will not eat it here or there.

I do not like it anywhere!

 

You do not like my fruitcake, Kiryu-san?

 

I do not like it, Daigosan.

 

Could you, would you, with a goat?

 

I would not, could not, with a goat!

 

Would you, could you, on a boat?

 

I could not, would not, on a boat.

I will not, will NOT, with a goat.

I will not eat it in the rain.

I will not eat it on the train.

Not in the dark! Not in a tree!

Not in a car! You leave it be!

I do not like it in a box.

I do not like it or your socks.

I will not eat it at your house.

I will not eat it with your spouse.

I do not like it here or there.

I do not like it anywhere!

 

I do not like your fruitcake!

 

I do not like it, Daigosan.

 

You do not like it, so you say.

Try it, try it! And you may.

Try it and you may, I say.

 

Daigo…

If you will let me be,

I will try it.

You will see.

 

…

 

…

 

Pfffth.

 

I told you, Daigo. I told you so.

I do not like your fruitcake… bro.

 

Maybe the next bite with soothe your mind.

Try the strawberry! It’s quite sublime.

 

This is as awful as I thought it’d be.

I don’t want another bite, please.

I still wouldn’t eat it in a boat.

I still wouldn’t eat it with a goat.

I still wouldn’t eat it in the rain.

Not in the dark. Not on a train.

Not in a car. Not in a tree.

It is so bad, I’m sad, you see.

 

I still won’t eat it in a box.

I still won’t eat it for your socks.

I still won’t eat it at your house.

I still won’t eat it with your spouse.

I still won’t eat it here or there.

I will not eat it anywhere.

 

I see, I see. So you don’t agree, huh…

Will you still share it with Maria?

 

…

 

…

 

…

 

Fine. It’s all hers.

 

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Finally, a friend!

I can’t wait to show her more of my end…

 

Touch her anywhere and you’re dead meat.

Now get outta here, you dead beat.

 

Can I still come to fix your car?

 

No.

Kaoru is better at it by far.


End file.
